The long wait is finally over!!! My first publicly released album is officially live and available everywhere music is found!
Amazon Music https://music.amazon.com/albums/B0CGG1MVCW?marketplaceId=ATVPDKIKX0DER&musicTerritory=US&ref=dm_sh_hGKoRyg308zUQXgoDpalGV6FF
How am I? I feel extremely weird.
I feel extremely nervous. I feel a little excited? but mostly terrified I messed something up or that people won't like it 😅
The distribution process included a very strange page in which I had to 'declare a genre'... and I really don't know what you would call this kind of music? I asked my friends for help and they were a little stumped too. Unfortunately blankety, artsy buzzwords like "Indie" and "Alternative" weren't listed as options... so I had to use Pop and Electronic (with more marginally more descriptive sub-genre "Folktronica" and "Psychedelic Pop"...) This doesn't feel like a great fit to be honest. I feel very uneasy about it- especially seeing the album now appear in itunes with a big "POP" label underneath it (🤢 they really should have warned me about that. I'll definitely have to do something to fix it later).
I can't help but feel like a bundle of nerves right now. I have a list of things I told myself I would do once the album was released to promote it- but I don't know how much of it I can do right now (especially as I get ready to leave tomorrow for my week long excursion to Burning Man). Much of that promotion will have to be a task for once I return.
Honestly I'm only comforted by t😅he fact that very few people are actually *looking* for my music right now. I'm still getting comfortable with the idea of having a public facing aspect of my person. It's a very unnerving thing for me, and I'm definitely still learning and getting better at managing it. 😅
Honestly I'm only comforted by the fact that very few people are actually *looking* for my music right now. I guess I feel safe from my mistakes while I'm hiding in the default-obscurity that comes with never having released anything, lol. I'm still getting comfortable with the idea of having a public facing aspect of my work, or cultivating a visible identity as an artist. It's a very unnerving thing for me, and I'm definitely still learning and getting better at understanding what it means and how to do it.
This project has taken a ton of time and energy, and I really hope that people do enjoy it. I know it's extremely hard to 'break in to the music scene' today- and my ambitions are modest at best. I need to keep reminding myself that I only really want this to be a stepping stone- something I can build a future career and name off of going forward. I've learned SO much from going through this whole process from beginning to end over the last 2-3 years. It's crazy to see it finally exist in a place where it can actually do what music does.
Enough of my nervous rambling- please- go! enjoy!
And the timing couldn't be worse 😅
I'm actively packing and gearing up to travel across the country to attend Burning Man 2023, and because everything hits at once, this also happens to be the week that my mastering engineer is able to get me the final deliverables for the album! 🙃
Since this is my first public release of anything noteworthy, frankly I'm not too worried about being immediately inundated with messages I'm unable to receive. I think more serious promotion will happen in the weeks after I return from the trip.
It would have been great if the release were ready *NOW* so I could give it propper attention before disappearing off the face of the earth for 10 days, but hopefully that's not a death sentence for my career or anything. I think attending a thing like burning man will be good for me artistically and professionally in a variety of other ways (even if it means I can't be glued to my computer the moment Warner calls and tries to sign me 💁♀️ /j)
I'm doing my best to keep my modest goals in mind as I get ready for release. I really just wanted to make something that was artistically and personally meaningful, and felt real. I wanted to make something that I could actually feel comfortable and confident releasing publicly. And honestly, I think I did! I'm super happy with the way everything turned out, and I'm able to live with the small imperfections I know are still there.
I've learned a TON about this whole process and I understand much more clearly what I can do to make things run more smoothly next time. It feel like ages since this project first started to take shape. Every step I thought would a week, took a month, and every step I though would take month, took a year, lol.
I have lots of plans for future endeavors in music and art, and releasing this album is a huge step in the right direction as I figure out what it means to be an artist who actually publishes their work. I'm excited to get to use the platform I've built to release so much more in the future! Things are bright! I have a lot to look forward to, and so many exciting projects to work on next! ❤️
I've started putting together a Tarot deck using the illustrations and things I've made for/ with my music so far. I've had a little experience with tarot before, but I have a lot of friends who will help me ensure my interpretations and manifestations of the cards are acurate and meaningful to the broader Tarot world.
I'm sort of treating this process like a mix between a reading for myself, and a negotation with the established meaning of the card. There's practically an bottomless world of interpretation for Tarot, and it's fun for me to use this as a way to learn the cards more intimately.
I think three of the four suits fit pretty nicely into the concepts I've been thinking about for future albums. The Queen of Time fits Cups, Invertebrate Waltz will fit Swords, (whatever I name the I dogs/pets album) will be Wands, and some 4th set of songs I've yet to write will probably be Coins.
My goal is to do about one card a day for now, (but so far I've been able to do more than one most days). This project won't be coming to fruition any time soon- but it's already giving me ideas, and challenging me as an artist and a songwriter to understand, synthesize, and present intentional meaning in what I am making.
I'm planning on posting occasional progress updates here, on my blog, and here, on my instagram feed. Be sure to keep an eye out if this is something that interests you! ❤️