I know the completion of this project is still a long way off, the Tarot Deck is really coming along! I've been doing roughly one card every day, and the results are starting to add up.
Working on the deck has been a way for me to reconnect with my love of painting and image making. The particular task of designing a tarot card is unique to me. It involves a lot planning and thoughtful consideration, and personal reflection, but very little actual ideation of the initial concept. The themes are provided for you, and it's up to you to conceive an image that captures/ symbolizes that theme in your own life. You can look at other examples of that card from other decks as inspiration for imagery or composition if you choose, but so far I've been drawing mostly from my own work, and occasionally on paintings and artists I who's work I've admired in the past. I try to only really directly reference another work when its themes or intentions line up well with what I'm trying to do in the card. The vases I'm using in the Cups/Queen of Time/Flowers/Clocks suite specifically are inspired by the painter Giorgio Morandi's cast of crofts that he often featured in his lovely, subtle, evocative still life paintings.
My goal with the tarot deck is to let each of the 4 suits relate to 4 collections of music I've been working on (no promises 😅 but many songs have been written and/or recorded in some form, and I feel like I have a strong concept for at least 2 more album sized projects down the line...)
• Invertebrates (particularly worms, insects, arachnids, and other cute nasties) take the place of Swords- the dynamic, airy, sometimes cruel, decisive suit. There is a lot I want to say about this album (likely to be the second) but it's still very much under development, and to go into it here would consume the rest of this post. In short, Invertebrate Waltz is a reaction to people in my life who court unhappiness.
• Dogs/ pet ownership takes the place of Wands- the warm, fiery-hearted, honest, working suit. Representing the apparent interest of everyone in the world to compulsively accept massive personal commitment into their lives. The collection of songs is about how I see outward idealization of romance and partnership, and questioning what I truly want in a relationship/ why I struggle to make large commitments to people and things in my life.
• The symbology of The Queen of Time (vases/flowers, clocks, royalty, the moon/sun) takes the place of Cups- the watery suite of love, and emotion. The queen of time was born out of a period of self reflection after the end of a relationship that started during the pandemic. It was clear that the relationship would end when we both moved into whatever chapter of our lives came next, but that truth became difficult for me to accept, and I had to do a lot of personal reflection to understand why. The Queen of Time was started in a really emotional place- figuring out where I am now, and coming to terms with life changes. The Queen of Time is also about reflecting on my future and my ambition as an artist- it's a reminder to myself that life is long, and a promise to make something real, and worthwhile come from this chapter of my life.
• Lastly, Musical instruments, artworks, and/ or tools and evidence of art (frequently also represented as disks/records/CDs) takes the place of Coins - the earthy suite of commerce, industry, efficacy, and practicality. Musically, I have a number of directions I could go here, but at present, I'm considering this a "catch all" collection of one-off songs about people who had a brief but tangible impression on me. The suite itself uses instruments and recording equiptment both as evidence of artistic practice, and nods to the presentation and idealization of those tools as social status symbols (especially in the music industry) It's possible this suite could change a bit as the project develops and/ or I find myself more and more entrenched in the music industry at large.
I had an
I had such an incredible time at Burning Man this year!
My experience was spiritually fulfilling, visually stunning, and deeply humanizing. I feel like I really thrived in that desert surrounded by 70,000 of the most creative, interesting people on earth 😅 It was truly humbling and powerful to be in a place where has so much depth and intentionality, and personality. Every camp, every art piece, every mutant vehicle, every*thing* in Black Rock City feel considered, lived-in, and loved.
I met so many amazing artists and humans ❤️ People were kind, caring, delightful, and every conversation I had was pleasant and interesting! I got to share some truly meaningful experiences with some truly special people. I'm still reflecting on how eye opening it was to meet so many *different* types of people who all share this space and this energy together. I feel like I could have had the same conversation with someone who was 8 years old, as I could with someone who was 80. Burning Man as a power to equalize everyone who enters, placing you in the moment and engaging you with the world that is right in front of you.
This years temple was the most beautiful building I have every seen in my entire life. Experiencing that space was something I'll never forget. It is a temple to no god, made holy by the people who enter it- who share their love, loss, and sprit with the space. Its made by and for humans who live messy, hopeful, beautiful lives and what we bring to it makes it special.
I hope very much to design a temple for burning man someday. I know it's a long shot, but life is long, and the world is huge. Part of me feels like there is maybe no more powerful thing I can do with my life than to design and build that structure out in the Black Rock desert. The temple is the heart of Burning Man- it's the thing that makes all the dances, the parties, and the art pieces make sense. I didn't feel like I was really there until I cried at the door for the first time. The temple is where I discovered the physical manifestation of a type of spirituality that I've been holding in my heart and trying to explain for a long time. Even now, just thinking about that place moves me almost to tears.
Going forward, I have so much to be grateful for, and so much art to make! I'm swamped in projects and ideas right now- which is a good place to be as an artist, but a little overwhelming, too 😅 I'm so glad I got to have this experience at burning man, and i really hope I get to make the trip back someday! There is so much more to see and love in that place ❤️
The long wait is finally over!!! My first publicly released album is officially live and available everywhere music is found!
Amazon Music https://music.amazon.com/albums/B0CGG1MVCW?marketplaceId=ATVPDKIKX0DER&musicTerritory=US&ref=dm_sh_hGKoRyg308zUQXgoDpalGV6FF
How am I? I feel extremely weird.
I feel extremely nervous. I feel a little excited? but mostly terrified I messed something up or that people won't like it 😅
The distribution process included a very strange page in which I had to 'declare a genre'... and I really don't know what you would call this kind of music? I asked my friends for help and they were a little stumped too. Unfortunately blankety, artsy buzzwords like "Indie" and "Alternative" weren't listed as options... so I had to use Pop and Electronic (with more marginally more descriptive sub-genre "Folktronica" and "Psychedelic Pop"...) This doesn't feel like a great fit to be honest. I feel very uneasy about it- especially seeing the album now appear in itunes with a big "POP" label underneath it (🤢 they really should have warned me about that. I'll definitely have to do something to fix it later).
I can't help but feel like a bundle of nerves right now. I have a list of things I told myself I would do once the album was released to promote it- but I don't know how much of it I can do right now (especially as I get ready to leave tomorrow for my week long excursion to Burning Man). Much of that promotion will have to be a task for once I return.
Honestly I'm only comforted by t😅he fact that very few people are actually *looking* for my music right now. I'm still getting comfortable with the idea of having a public facing aspect of my person. It's a very unnerving thing for me, and I'm definitely still learning and getting better at managing it. 😅
Honestly I'm only comforted by the fact that very few people are actually *looking* for my music right now. I guess I feel safe from my mistakes while I'm hiding in the default-obscurity that comes with never having released anything, lol. I'm still getting comfortable with the idea of having a public facing aspect of my work, or cultivating a visible identity as an artist. It's a very unnerving thing for me, and I'm definitely still learning and getting better at understanding what it means and how to do it.
This project has taken a ton of time and energy, and I really hope that people do enjoy it. I know it's extremely hard to 'break in to the music scene' today- and my ambitions are modest at best. I need to keep reminding myself that I only really want this to be a stepping stone- something I can build a future career and name off of going forward. I've learned SO much from going through this whole process from beginning to end over the last 2-3 years. It's crazy to see it finally exist in a place where it can actually do what music does.
Enough of my nervous rambling- please- go! enjoy!