Too many songs...

I had a call with my production partner John last week, and we talked about what I wanted to work on next. I had sent him a few demos for singles, but as we talked, I started to realize I should maybe try to focus on the next album while I still have time and resources to do so, here in Ohio.

He was surprised to hear I had so many song! I guess I didn't realize that wasn't the norm? I write new stuff all time and I assumed that was the way most recording artists operate. He went on to tell me how many of clients from LA approach him to record and produce one very expensive single and then disappear off the face of the earth, lol. I knew my choice to pursue an album first was not conventional, but I didn't know just how uncommon it was to have so many songs in my backlog.

Making albums just makes the most sense to me. When I write songs, I typically write them in groups about a particular topic/feeling/set of experiences. I'm not really thinking about anything other than the usefulness of the song *to me* for expressing or moving through a particular emotion.

Because I write songs that look inward and try to satisfy *me* before anything else, I think of songwriting as a continuing journey and a tool for my mental health. To this end, I simply never stop working on new songs. I work on a song every day- whether that means writing something new, tweaking something old, or editing/ recording a mix.

Sometimes I worry that I write too much. Last night I realized I might have enough material for a 4th(?) album already... Honestly this concerns me. Being responsible for the upkeep and stewardship of another dozen connected songs is really not what I need on my plate right now... but I also know these periods of inspiration won't last forever, and it's important to give a new idea time and space to grow and develop when the feeling is fresh.

I feel like my music is starting to cheat on itself... like the constant development of new music might detrimental to the demos and songs that haven't reached their full potential yet... I recognize that it's important to give new songs attention, because the period of inspiration will not last forever. But honestly, if I never had a new idea for song for the rest of my life, I'd already have enough material to make and release music for many, many years... I have probably forgotten more songs than most people have ever written. (That not to say I don't take good notes about the songs I write, because I do recognize how important that is. I have literally thousands of voice memos and drafts (of admittedly varying quality) in my notepad...)

I guess I'm just reckoning with the reality that, for me, songwriting is not pursuant of an extrinsic end... but if I want to release more stuff, I can't let the constant pursuit of new stuff keep distracting me from the hard work of developing and refining existing material... And I *do* want to release more stuff. (because, as I've said before, I believe it is the obligation of a person who calls themselves an artist to actually contribute something back to the world they exist in.) I'm not quite sure what to do about this yet. I guess this is a good problem to have? But it's still a bit of a problem... different goals butting up against each other... I guess writing something new usually wins- because that's the thing that actually matters to me in the moment, and I keep telling myself that someday (years from now) this period of being able to dig deep and write songs that satisfy a real emotion will end, and I'll be glad I spent all this time generating the seeds while I was still able to do so. It's also probably true that the more I write new, the *better* I get at songwriting... If I had spent years refining and remixing the first songs I ever wrote when I was a teenager, I would probably be a lot less flexible and experienced as a songwriter today...

So, I guess, even though it's frustrating to admit that my goals are at odds- I need to make time for *both* developing the songs I have for release, *and* continuing to follow my ear and make new songs as they come to me... Which is a lot easier said than done 😅